A Whole Lot of Bull
by MyInnerme
Summary: When it’s more bull than you can handle. F/B Post Season 7


Title: A Whole Lot of Bull

Author: Myinnerme

Drabble-athon At DylanFemslash (Yahoo Group) Theme Set Two: **Water**

Summary: When it's more bull than you can handle. (F/B) Post Season 7

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and all creators of BTVS own these characters.

A/N: This is written for and dedicated to Electra, who laughs in the face of dang— no, that's not right— who, laughs in my face. Well I got news for you Ms Smirky-Pants: those nasty Bulls hang in fresh water as well. :P

Many thanks also to the "good and quick" beta. You definitely know how much I appreciate you.

* * *

Why the fuck did I agree to this in the first place?

I mean, seriously, there're like a million friggin places I could be now. And not a one of them'll have me antsy like this.

"Faith! Are you coming?"

"Hold ya fuckin horses B," I yell back.

"Well just hurry it up. It's not the same if you don't come."

"Yeah, yeah," I mumble, knowing full well she can hear me. "Didn't hear ya saying that last night though," I say just a little quieter. She'll have to be Superman to pick that one up. But it's true; she mewed like an alley cat before passing out last night during our last session. That'll teach me to swing my ass around quicker for some good ole slayer 69 before I get caught up in the taste of her again.

Where the fuck is it? I dig around in the bag again. I've checked every little compartment of this monstrosity B packed for us.

"What the…" My hand pulls out the fifth hair curling iron. I shake my head and just toss it to the side.

It's been eight months since we've officially been dating. Official, cause the gang finally caught us getting wiggly one night in the kitchen when we thought they'd all gone to bed. I admit it was my fault, but who knew B's tongue could curl like that? She sure as hell didn't or she'd have tried it on me the unofficial five months we were sneaking around with each other before I screamed the house down.

"Ahh," I smile…fond memories.

Anyways, like I was saying, in the time we've been together, I've maybe seen Buffy out in public without a ponytail or two hair-styles a mere handful of times. And those times were only our fancy-shancy dates, not our regular little outings. So why in the hell would she need five irons? I love her but… she's a strange fucking cookie.

"Faith, what the hell are you doing?" And in walks Miss-I'm-no-longer-cookie-dough-since-I-realized-I-love-you-Faith-now-I'm just-warm-delicious-cookie-me-for-you-to-eat. Yo, did I already say she's strange?

"Looking for sometin," I say, finally emptying the whole bag out on the bed.

"Faith! I am not cleaning that up." B marches over. "What are you looking for anyway?" She starts picking up some lipstick tubes and eyeliner, realizes what she's doing and tosses it back in the pile.

"Just somethin," I snort to myself. God, B is too easy. It'll drive her crazy when I leave that shit on the bed. Me? I'll just flop in the other bed. I figure that's why they give you two beds in a hotel anyway. One for clothes an shit and the other to sleep in after wild monkey sex.

"Well stop rummaging through my stuff and go look in your own bag for something," she snatches her scented body lotion out my hand.

"Oh…" My bag. Showing my dimples I quickly dash over to the closet to continue my search. I forgot B packed my shit separately cause I keep complaining when we go on missions that I can't find a thing.

But this isn't a mission.

This is our first official vacation as a couple. And being whipped, I flashed her my pearly whites and told her wherever she picked was fine with me as long as I was with her.

That'll teach me to be pussy whipped.

Yeah, I'm still learning all kinds of new crap about what to do and not to do in our relationship since the day I finally just walked up to B and kissed her socks off. She knew we were meant to be together but was pussyfooting around and taking too long to get her ass in gear. Well… she is the slow and kooky one.

Now, here we are, our first morning, on a semi-private island surrounded by nothing but sand and sea. And rather than screw, eat breakfast, then screw again, my beloved wants to go take a dip in the water. Why? Because…. its _sooo_ romantic. Well Whoopty-doo.

"Hurry your slow butt up, Faith!" B orders then exits again through the sliding door. "And just know that when my big toe touches the water, I'm counting 'til ten then I'm coming back to drag you out. You are not ruining our first special morning together. God, sometimes I if I didn't know better, I'd think she was mentally challenged..." B's voice fades as she gets further away from the bungalow or I've finally just tuned her out. I'm not sure which.

Mmm-hmm. The sweet aroma of romance in the air. Can you smell it? Yeah, right!

"Fuckin Web-feet Cali girls," I mutter. "What's with them and the wat—Gotcha!" I smile and pull the small jar out.

Glancing over my shoulder at the glass door to make sure the coast is clear, I stand up, quickly open the top and hastily smear the cool cream all over my body.

If this fucking shark repellent doesn't work, I'm kicking Willow's ass when we get back. She could be blowing smoke up my mine for all I know 'cause she was laughing mighty hard when I let her in on my little secret phobia. And it's not fucking irrational, I don't care what she says. So what if I'm a big bad ass slayer? Nowhere in the handbook does it say my duty includes slaying Jaws.

Securing the goods again, I try to confidently swagger past the already toiletry-free bed, out the sliding door, over the sand and into the water to join B.

Holding her up as she latches her legs around my waist and snakes her arms around my neck I give her a chaste kiss that lingers.

"Sorry to take so long, baby."

"Mmm, that's alright. I'll wait on you forever," she whispers sweetly in my ear before nibbling it. "Hey," she pulls back, "you taste minty."

"Just some new sunblock I'm trying," I say, sucking on her pulse point to distract her while keeping a watchful eye out to sea. I'm looking for any fucking fins or large jagged-ass teeth breaking through those waves.

She pulls my head up and gives me a searing kiss that curls my toes and almost has me closing my eyes.

Almost I say…

**The End**


End file.
